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Don't get fooled by Fake Agile

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Don't get fooled by Fake Agile
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Whichever consultancy sells this model, DO NOT let them anywhere near your IT!

So, I’ve come across this visual buzzword bingo in three major corporations already, and all of them believe that this is "how to do Agile". And all of them are looking for "Agile Coaches" to help them implement this garbage.

This is still the same old silo thinking that never worked.

There is so much wrong with this model that it would take an entire series of articles to explain.

Long story short: all the heavy buzzwords on this image merely relabel the same old dysfunctional Waterfall. In Bullet points:

  • "Design Thinking" isn’t Design Thinking,
  • "Agile" isn’t Agile,
  • "DevOps" isn’t Devops. and 
  • Product Owners and Scrum Masters aren’t, either.

I have no idea which consultancy is running around and selling this "Agile Factory Model" to corporations, but here’s a piece of advice:

  • If someone is trying to sell you this thing to you as "Agile", do what HR always does: " Thank you very much for coming. We will call you, do not call us … "
  • If someone within your organization is proposing to implement this model, send them to a Scrum – or preferably LeSS – training!
  • If someone is actually taking steps to "implement" this thing within your organization, put them on a more helpful project. Counting the holes in the ceiling, for example.

If this has just saved you a couple millions in consulting fees, you’re welcome.

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